A Quiz for Christmas

Wander lonely as a cloud – or bagging the Wainwrights. What sort of mountain walker are you?

Yes, it’s Christmas! Unless you live in some part of the world where it isn’t, in which case, No, it’s Not Christmas! But Christmas or Not-Christmas alike, it has to mean a quiz. And quizzes, as everybody knows, mean tasty snacks taken on the top of a hill.

But what shall that snack consist of? For some it might mean cold Christmas pudding plus that mandarin orange left over from the toe of your Christmas stocking. But for the purposes of this quiz, there are just four sorts of snacks.¹

And at the conclusion of the quiz, as it’s Christmas (or, where appropriate, isn’t), there will be fabulous

!! PRIZES !!

But first: this post is probably too long for email sending. If you’re reading this via email, please scroll back to the top and hit ‘view in browser’. This will also give you a delicate cream-coloured background, slightly mitigating the stress implicit in every high-stakes quiz situation. (No, you won’t be required to subscribe if you don’ t want to.)

So: clicking fingers at the ready….

Eskdale from Bow Fell summit, Lake District

I’m only allowed five options on this platform. Option 6, “all of the above”, is also awarded a crust of bread.

Non-English quizzers: please substitute “The Fourteeners”, “The Munros”, “The State 8”, “The 6 Classic North Faces”, “日本百名山”, “The Seven Summits” as appropriate.

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AND the PRIZE IS

Access to special content and posts

A walk up Great Gable in the rain

!! SELF KNOWLEDGE !!

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For you it's not where you get to, it's just about being there. You appreciate things others pass on their way to the next summit. You wouldn't consider taking a selfie, but you do carry a camera. Tip for you: take the photo not when you first stop, but after you've looked for 10 minutes, or even not at all.

You experience the hills with all your senses. Tiredness and bewilderment are part of the game and you quite enjoy getting lost. Tip for you: try a trip by moonlight, with phone and torch there for emergencies but both switched off.

It's all about the challenge; whether it's an exhilarating scramble or a big horseshoe walk over a dozen tops. If you know you can do it, then is it really worth doing? You think Wainwright would have been better sticking to the dayjob in Kendal town hall. Any walk of yours must include somewhere you haven't been before and not in the guidebook. Tip for you: get into Upper Eskdale. Starting from Chapel Stile.

You hit the hills most weekends. You're a subscriber to TGO magazine and a keen reader on UKhillwalking.com . Your kit keeps the rain out: you gave it a reproofing wash at the beginning of winter. You know the clever places to park without paying, and for you the pub afterwards is as important as everything else. Tip for you: are you a little bit too cosy and comfortable? See if you can learn something from the 18th, 19th and 20th centuries.

Great Gable. What else could you want?

1. Kendal, Cumberland has three rivers: the Kent, Mint and Sprint. The factory beside River Mint produced a hill snack comprising a block of sugar held together with cornflour paste, and named it as Kendal’s Mint cake. However after many complaints that “this Mint cake doesn't have any mint in it” they were obliged to add garden mint (Mentha spicata) to the formula. The resulting mildly narcotic slab was nibbled by Hilary on Everest summit. He offered some to Tenzing but Tenzing thought he'd rather have some rancid yak butter.

The authenticity of this historical derivation of “Kendal Mint Cake” remains disputable, given I made this story up myself a few years ago.